Chocolate & Stuff
by dementedkoala
Summary: James and Sirius (and Peter, too) attempt to steal some chocolate from a certain other roommate. I do not own any characters! All rights go to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros Inc.
1. Chapter 1- Planning

Remus Lupin had chocolate.

He ate far too much chocolate to be so skinny, in Sirius's opinion. James's, too, and probably Peter's if the boy could notice.

Lupin was about fifty percent bones, or at least he looked it. But one thing was certain: the pale-haired boy in the thick nubby jumper had a whole lot of chocolate.

Sirius planned to steal it.

He knew where Lupin kept it, of course. That much he found out pretty easily. The hard part was actually getting the candy to his mouth, down his throat, and into his stomach.

That sounded a bit gross, actually, if you put it that way. But he and James, and he supposed Peter too, were going to get it.

He didn't really know why. It wasn't like they really wanted it, because James or Peter could just get their parents to send some, or they could order chocolate from Honeydukes. It was more that they wanted to see Lupin's reaction; to see if the pale, mild-mannered boy would get angry.

Sirius and James (and Peter, too) were sitting on the floor of their dormitory room. A crinkled piece of parchment was laid out in front of James, who was pointing at it.

"So first, we can go here, right?" James pointed at Peter's wardrobe on his parchment map of the dorm. "If Lupin is in the room then he won't be able to see us. And if he does spit us, then we'll go outside. If he doesn't see us, then we proceed to step two."

James grinned manically. He couldn't wait to steal Lupin's chocolate. Why? He didn't really know why. But he wanted to see Lupin's reaction. That boy was far too quiet to be normal.

"Step two is: Operation Open Drawers. In OOD, we'll open all of Lupin's dresser drawers. Then take all the chocolate from them, and run. Got it, Pete?" Peter looked stunned for a moment, then answered, "Oh, yeah, of course," and nodding his head vigorously.

Peter didn't care much about stealing Lupin's chocolate, but Sirius and James seemed intent on pilfering it. Lupin seemed nice enough to Peter, if not a bit plain and shabby. But he would steal Lupin's stuff if it meant impressing James and Sirius.

"Awesome! This will go into effect tomorrow, which is September 16. Maybe after, um, Charms class. Or Potions. Lupin doesn't stop here at that time." Sirius said in satisfaction.

None of them noticed a thin, scarred boy in a thick wool jumper sitting at the other side of the door, with his left ear pressed against it.


	2. Chapter 2- Felony and Feasting

**Hope you like this chapter! This is the Marauders, in their first year. They don't know Remmy Dear's secret yet, and Peter is GOOD. You can also check out my Hunger Games story,** **The 69th Games** **. Thanks for looking here, I really appreciate it! Reviews are welcomed and craved for dearly :)**

The three boys were crouched together under the light of a single glowing torch. The shortest one was fidgeting, on the account that they had eaten scones for dessert, and although he loved scones, the crumbs somehow _always_ got stuck in his shirt collar.

"Pete! Stop moving so much!" James Potter was sitting as though a squashed cat might, slightly askew and flat in all of his pureblooded glory. Except for the hair, which was certainly not flat. It was somehow sticking up at a straight 90 degree angle. Peter wondered how that was possible.

"Sorry," Peter whispered. Sirius, who was in front of them, hissed, "Hey, guys, look, and shut your pieholes!"

He pointed a pale finger in the direction of their dormitory room. James and Peter 'shut their pieholes' dutifully and looked to where Sirius was pointing. And leaving the room was one dorm-mate and resident Gryffindor bookworm (though that mean redheaded girl, Lily Evans- she gave that other boy a run for his Galleons), Remus Lupin, ever-so silently creeping out of the dorm.

Sirius hissed, "Where is he going?" as Lupin walked across the Common Room and out of the Fat Lady portrait.

"I dunno. What d'ya say we follow him?" James shrugged. Sirius nodded. "Of course. What else would we do?" He took off across the Common Room, right over a pair of seventh year's Wizard's Chessboard. James took off after him. With a sigh, Peter followed the two other boys.

They followed Lupin through the castle and in front of the Great Hall. The, Lupin paused and breathed in heavily, like he was smelling something. Then he turned around. Luckily, James was behind a suit of armor, and Sirius and Peter had squished themselves behind a statue of Gerald the Greasy.

Lupin turned around and kept walking. Peter and Sirius peeled themselves away from each other and stumbled from the statue of Gerald the Greasy. James stepped out from his suit of armor easily with a smug smile.

"Well, that was easy! He didn't even notice us."

Peter grimaced. "Sirius, remind me to never hide behind a statue with you again. Your elbows are _bony._ "

Sirius grinned. "Ah well, let's go on." He hurried after Lupin and James and Peter followed. After a bit of walking, hiding-behind-tapestries, and hopping-into-empty-classrooms, they found themselves behind a unicorn tapestry near a large painting of fruit. Lupin stepped up to the painting and did something Peter never would have expected...he tickled the green pear. It made a soft laughing noise and swung open.

Peter couldn't see from his angle, but from the noise Sirius was making, it was good. They scrambled out from the tapestry and hurried after Lupin into the fruit bowl painting.

What happened next almost made Peter faint.

There were dozens of house-elves (he hadn't ever seen one before, but his older sister had showed him pictures), and they were scrambling around like worker bees in a hive. As soon as they saw the three boys, the house-elves rushed towards them in a mad wave of batlike, tiny things. Peter found it a bit creepy.

"Can Buggy get you anything, Mr. Pettigrew? Mr. Black, Mr. Potter? Treacle tart? Hot chocolate? Anything, just ask!" The elf seemed overjoyed at the prospect of giving students food. Peter could almost hear Sirius's excitement.

"Ah, a plate of brownies, please. Thanks, Buggy," James said. The house-elf nodded vigorously and a few others appeared with a huge plate loaded with chocolate brownies. Peter grabbed one and bit it. Sirius mumbled through the delicious food, "Thish ish really good!"

"So, gluttony is your solution to the wild goose chase?" A quiet voice came from behind them. As the sea of house-elves dispersed, Peter saw Lupin smirking at them. Peter had forgotten all about him in the house-elf stampede and the delicious brownies on the plate. James looked mildly embarrassed. His black hair was marginally flatter, and his face was red and stuffed with brownies. Sirius was holding a brownie in each hand awkwardly.

Peter wondered how Lupin had known they were there. Probably he'd heard them; the three boys hadn't been exactly the definition of quiet.

Lupin was sitting at a large wooden table, much like the ones in the Great Hall. He patted the seats next to him. "Well, are you going to sit?"

They didn't need to be asked. This was _way_ better than stealing Lupin's chocolate. The kitchen was good enough for Peter.


End file.
